Nervous, overwhelmed, excited, anxious, giddy, scared.  All of these words describe the range of emotions that I have experienced in the last couple of weeks.  The thought of re-opening my photography business on any scale is frightening.  Am I really going to put myself out there again? 

When I opened my business in 2005 I was gung ho, ready to conquer the world and confident that somehow it would all work out. 

As a self taught photographer, I was learning everything I could, reading every article, scouring every forum for insight and inspiration.  Overcoming my fear, I shot my first wedding, and then another, and another...  I was shooting pageants, proms, family portraits and reunions, senior pictures, high school reunions, parties and even some commercial work.  And SPORTS.  If there was a game, I was there.  I covered baseball, basketball, softball, football, soccer and cheerleading.  From diaper league to high school, I was there to get the shot.  I even opened a tiny studio.  Multiple sets, props, and even a true dressing room. Through it all I was also working a full time job in the medical field.  I was burning the candle at both ends, and often in the middle, too.

Four years later, suffering from major burn out, I walked away from my camera.  So frustrated and defeated, I didn't even take a single picture for months.  Even then it was a few half-hearted shots with my cell phone at Christmas.  You know, the quick snaps you take because you are supposed to have pictures of the holidays.  Yep, my burn out was complete.  I was devastated.  My love of photography was tarnished, bent and broken.

I buried myself in my "real" job.  I stopped my WPPI membership, cancelled my Professional Photographer magazine subscription and packed up my Photoshop books and business cards.  That phase was over.  I would just be a professional paper pusher.  A year went by, and then two. Facebook became popular.  I was able to reach out and find friends and acquaintances from the good old days.  And then it happened. 

A friend asked me to shoot her wedding.  Gasp, no!  I wasn't a photographer any more, I couldn't possibly.  Then she pointed out if I didn't take pictures, she wasn't going to have a photographer.  It was a small wedding anyway.  Wow.  She was going to finally marry her high school sweetheart and begin a new life, and NOT have pictures?  And I was going to attend this wedding and not bring a camera?  No.  I couldn't let her down.

Well, admittedly, it was not my best work.  Don't get me wrong, the bride was beautiful, the groom handsome and the day special, but I was out of practice.  Way out of practice and not feeling exceptionally confident, the pictures were okay.  Not the breath taking images that they deserved.  sigh.  Had I waited too long to revive my inner passion for photography?

Little by little, I begin to shoot more pictures.  A flower here or there, a trip to see the aquarium, snaps of the cute little guy next door.  Oh, I had missed it.  I love catching the moment.  My memories of childhood and life are so often tied to pictures.  I want to share that passion. 

So here we are in 2012.  Tentative baby steps.  Started out with a few sessions of the neighborhood kids, going to rejoin the forums and follow the blogs, hoard props (LOVE this part!) and dust off my editing skills.  This time, sports is going to take a backseat and I am going to focus on portraits and weddings.  Only time will tell where this journey will lead me.

If you have made it this far, thank you for letting me share my story.  I invite you to join me on my new adventure.  I want to share the most beautiful images, the most innovative techniques, the coolest props and gear and so much more.  So grab a drink, raise your glass, here's to NEW BEGINNINGS!

-Monica Powell